We, too, once swam over 3,000 miles down the Amazon. Except it was more like the Willamette, for ten miles, and we actually didn't leave the boat. But the delirium thing definitely happened.
04/09About Us
One fateful night, Refined Taste and Youthful Abandon got drunk and did the nasty. The condom broke and they made a baby. That's us, and we're The Shit.
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- In Which The Shit Invites You to Take Our Very First Quiz; or, Dipset Forever
- Q.T.'s B.S.
- Surely You Must Be Joakim
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Monthly Archives
The Hot Shit
Word's don't—nay, can't—describe. Apparently Jeezy even ad-libs in interviews.
04/08Gee, this totally doesn't make up for the fact that Paddy still hasn't finished the third volume of his memoirs.
04/05It's definitely about the free booze.
04/05So now he's picking on girls? We are convinced that The Game has become the Hank Kingsley of hip hop.
04/05Martha Stewart is so powerful that she sends Jews to Hell.
04/04UPDATE: We don't know what to believe in this whole Keef matter.
04/04$%*(&@#! MOVABLE TYPE I WILL KILL YOU!!!!
04/04Q.T.'s B.S.
We didn't exactly get dragged to see Grindhouse. We'll admit we were curious; that we're fans of Robert Rodriguez's earlier work, and his cooking; and when it comes down to it, we're not all that averse to watching Rose McGowan go-go dance. But we really weren't all that excited—didn't have those ridiculous fan-boy expectations—because, honestly, we don't like Quentin Tarantino all that much. After watching his half of the double feature, entitled Death Proof, we like him even less.
Which is too bad, because we really like the idea of QT. We enjoy the same movies he does, especially appreciated the Shaw Brothers references in the first Kill Bill (Intimate Confessions of a Chinese Courtesan? anyone?), and thought there was a real spark to Pulp Fiction. And we were under the impression Grindhouse was going to be another loving homage to schlock. While Rodriguez's Planet Terror is fucking great—boasting the most per capita bloodiness and sheer wtf-ness of perhaps any movie we've ever seen—Death Proof is no fun at all.
Which is missing the point completely. Grindhouse cinema was about gratuitious sex and ridiculous gore; guilty pleasure you made guiltless through substance abuse. Death Proof is interesting—there's a lot of dialogue, some of it seemingly serious, and some masterful shots—but it's mainly boring. It's the slowest movie since Kubrick's 2001, and maybe the most self-indulgent too: Tarantino shouldn't get to act, nor should he use his films as forums for talking about his musical tastes (of which he seems to be very proud). Death Proof just isn't fun, and it needs to be.
Rodriguez gets it. the audience is paying money to see big explosions ("How big?" "Retarded big."), to watch Fergie get eaten by zombies, to hear the screams of a dude getting his testicles ripped off; so that's what he gives us. Tarantino gives us a rambling 90 minutes of film that feels like a slap in the audience's face. Luckily, Planet Terror comes first, so you can leave the theater after it ends and Death Proof starts.
Also on the bright side, Rodriguez might actually be making his one-off goofy trailer for Machete into a full-blown movie. Wtf?
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Comments (1)
Oh Jake Jake Jake! Why must you hate on the Death Proof?! Why?!
This really saddens me. Quite a lot, actually.
Posted by liza | April 11, 2007 2:11 AM
Posted on April 11, 2007 02:11