We, too, once swam over 3,000 miles down the Amazon. Except it was more like the Willamette, for ten miles, and we actually didn't leave the boat. But the delirium thing definitely happened.
04/09About Us
One fateful night, Refined Taste and Youthful Abandon got drunk and did the nasty. The condom broke and they made a baby. That's us, and we're The Shit.
Categories
Recent Posts
- In Which The Shit Invites You to Take Our Very First Quiz; or, Dipset Forever
- Q.T.'s B.S.
- Surely You Must Be Joakim
- Bitchfight?
- Talking Shit: Willamette Weak?
- Ridonkey Kong
- Get Innocuous
- Dunce Cappin' and Kazooin'
- Gawker Teaches The Shit about Blogging, Humor
- Eddie Izzard Stars in New Television Show with Hacky Title
- Ceci N'est Pas Une Pipe Bomb
- Who Is Fred Jones?
Monthly Archives
The Hot Shit
Word's don't—nay, can't—describe. Apparently Jeezy even ad-libs in interviews.
04/08Gee, this totally doesn't make up for the fact that Paddy still hasn't finished the third volume of his memoirs.
04/05It's definitely about the free booze.
04/05So now he's picking on girls? We are convinced that The Game has become the Hank Kingsley of hip hop.
04/05Martha Stewart is so powerful that she sends Jews to Hell.
04/04UPDATE: We don't know what to believe in this whole Keef matter.
04/04$%*(&@#! MOVABLE TYPE I WILL KILL YOU!!!!
04/04Surely You Must Be Joakim
Here's the deal: we really didn't want to care about this little basketball game that happened last night. Really. And on most levels we still don't. But Joakim Noah now has two championships? This guy? Really?!?
Really, not wanting him to have another ring (and by ring, we mean ridiculously unjustifiable amount of ass) was the extent of our caring. We have nothing against Florida: after all, there's been talk of our very own P-town Jail Weed Trail Blazers drafting the versatile Corey Brewer come June, and we have been known, on occasion, to like the colors blue and orange. But, for whatever reason, Joakim Noah really just annoys the shit out of us (and that's a big problem, seeing as we are The Shit).
We understand that he is a Strong Personality. We understand that most celebrated athletes have their various quirks and eccentricities, whether that be constructing your own hyperbaric chamber à la Gilbert or raping women (fine, fine, fine...getting accused of raping women). But we will NOT tolerate talk of Joakim being the next Rasheed Wallace.
First off, Sheed's cool. Noah's not. Second of all, you can empathize with Wallace's fuck-you 'tude. He's relatively street, coming from Philly and all; he's been a perpetually misunderstood figure in the NBA, bashed for apathy when he's all about the hustle. Whereas Noah's dad is a French tennis star, and his mom is Swedish. Plus, Rasheed has garnered press because he was the best player on his team for the early part of this millennium. Noah is, tops, the fifth-best baller on his squad. Also, he looks a bit like an autistic lizard. And yet he still gets to talk shit like this.
There's something ineffably annoying about his persona. Other athletes—like Sheed—make that kind of ego fun, make us want to root for them. Noah just makes us want to change channels. He's enough to make us care more about the unfailingly bland Oden. Or even this baseball stuff. Really.
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