We, too, once swam over 3,000 miles down the Amazon. Except it was more like the Willamette, for ten miles, and we actually didn't leave the boat. But the delirium thing definitely happened.
04/09About Us
One fateful night, Refined Taste and Youthful Abandon got drunk and did the nasty. The condom broke and they made a baby. That's us, and we're The Shit.
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Monthly Archives
The Hot Shit
Word's don't—nay, can't—describe. Apparently Jeezy even ad-libs in interviews.
04/08Gee, this totally doesn't make up for the fact that Paddy still hasn't finished the third volume of his memoirs.
04/05It's definitely about the free booze.
04/05So now he's picking on girls? We are convinced that The Game has become the Hank Kingsley of hip hop.
04/05Martha Stewart is so powerful that she sends Jews to Hell.
04/04UPDATE: We don't know what to believe in this whole Keef matter.
04/04$%*(&@#! MOVABLE TYPE I WILL KILL YOU!!!!
04/04A Step in the Right Direction
This may sound callous, but we're ecstatic about ECM recording artist and starting Portland Trail Blazers point guard Jarrett Jack getting in a car crash. Yes, ecstatic. Why? Because this is a new kind of automotive accident for Portland's only major professional sports franchise worth caring about that we care about:
Jarrett Jack, the team's starting point guard and emotional leader, drove a car into a parked semi-truck outside of the team's practice facility in Tualatin as he arrived at the team's shootaround. Jack suffered a concussion and scrapes to his forehead when he hit the windshield.
See? That's great news. No drugs involved! No armed speed racing à la Road Rash 3! No pit bulls! Just a professional athlete with superior reflexes and hand-eye coordination driving his car into a parked vehicle the size of a barn (hmmm...). What's more, we get a W the night of the accident. This is just what a team formerly known as the Jail Blazers needs. So we salute you, Jarrett Jack, vibraphonist, terrible driver, and "emotional leader" of our benighted Blazers.
Oh God.
Victory is No Accident [OregonLive] (GET IT?)
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